Bila Tiba-tiba.

i think ive been dishonest the most this year. and that has made me hurt lots of people. i dont even think im being honest with myself. if there's a competition for the most dishonest person exist, well ill be the most qualified organizer for this competition. and ill be the winner of course.

at the moment i thought not telling the truth will make me feel better. well it did. for almost a minute. but then you gonna regret it. i tell you, its gonna hunt you down baby! that dishonesty or simply called lie will haunt you every single minute in your life. ive been keeping a lot to myself lately and not being really honest to myself, to people around me, and to people who love me.

i thought i would spare their feelings if i cover up the truth using less-true words, but it will just hurt them more when they knew it by themselves. and to tell you the truth, at some level im actually relieved that he/she knew it by themselves. but the regrets and humiliation of not being totally honest is far more painful than real truth it is.

well, i learnt my lesson. truth may made you look and feel stupid. but im okay with stupid, as stupid made me learn more things. truth may make you call me a mean person. well, thats who i am. there are some things i cannot tolerate. truth may make me a hypocrite. well, who is not? truth make me a calmer and happier person.

so just let it out. let them hear you. let me hear you. let us be a happy person. i am now trying to be a happy person. honestly happy person inside out. not just people-see-me-happy-but-i-am-dying-inside happy. real happy.

yes truth hurts, but i am willing to bear that hurt and make time to heal it.

honesty is the best policy! adios